Demented Crank …

… aka, Paul Crassnerd, sends bulletins from the newsroom front line near future.


Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, speaks with the media during a press conference in Tehran, Iran, Tuesday, Nov. 14, 2006. AP

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said “Look, the creation of Israel out of land in Palestine was like it would be to create a country just for Catholics out of part of Texas or Kansas. It’s just not the kind of thing that is ever going to sit well with those who lived there before.”


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“When I found out Persians are there, now, in Iran…radical Persianism…see, we have to be there, ’cause that’s where all of the radical Persianist terrorists send money from to the Democrats in the US. And besides, if that Iranish guy with the wimpy beard can have a nuke, anybody can have a nuke, and so then suddenly, I’m nobody special, see?” said Mr. Bush. “You want your president to have a smaller belt buckle than some Persianist guy with a wimpy beard?” asked Bush.

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“Suck it up, Chump Bush, and ****ing dance with the one who brung you,” said Vice-President Cheney in a call to the President prior to the 2006 mid-term elections overheard by German intelligence agents, according to a transcript of the call today released by German legal authorities who filed eight war crimes charges against the Vice-President. The prosecutors said that response came when Bush told Cheney he was considering drawing US troops down in Iraq if things didn’t improve there soon.

“HAL still is serious billions in the hole, so you better either stay the (expletive) course or find another war for HAL,” the VP allegedly said during the call. “Karl Rove made you and I got your political virginity, you naive (expletive) so know we can take you right back down. Now go do something to get the price of crude back up there and keep it up there,” added Cheney, according to the trial transcript copy released by the German prosecution Wednesday.

It was Cheney’s comments to Bush that caused the EU authorities to investigate whether a criminal conspiracy to profit-gouge during wartime had begun with the end of the call.


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“I don’t really think we were criminals,” Bush told the court. “All I ever wanted to do was be baseball commissioner,” said Bush, according to sources close to Bush’s court-appointed mental health guardian. Bush’s mind and attention seemed to wander during the arraignment, which is widely believed to have occurred on Friday, following his rendition to Syria by Pakistan, which had occurred on the previous day, according to surprised eye-witnesses at the Damascus Inter-Continental Airport.

Meanwhile, unrest continued for the seventh day today in Islamabad, following news that Pakistan President Gen. Musharref had left the Pakistani capitol to settle in Nevada, where he will run his new father-in-law’s Kia dealership, said a source in Al Jazerra’s Las Vegas office.


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“Thabba thabba…..thaat’s all, folks!”

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