Kick His Ass Up and Down the Street

Crush, Kill, Destroy
Screw bipartisanship; it’s time for revenge.
Allan Uthman

You see it in the movies all the time. The hero, having vanquished his foe after a long and arduous struggle, rescues him from a certain death—usually the villain hangs from a window ledge, begging for his life, and the good guy proves his nobility by saving him. We all know what happens next: The villain pulls out a concealed weapon and tries once again to kill his savior.

In the movies, it’s just a way to morally insulate the hero from the ramifications of killing—this way, the audience’s bloodlust can be satisfied without moral qualms. It’s a nice cliché, but let’s face it: in real life, you’d let the guy drop the first time.

With the Democrats finally in charge of congress again, it’s Bush hanging from that ledge. And, while it might seem kind or even noble to extend a hand, the right thing to do is not just to let him drop; it’s to stamp on his bloodied hands to hasten his fall.

Republicans are scared to death about the Democrats’ subpoena power, and Detroit’s maverick rep John Conyers’ imminent status as chairman of the House Judicial Committee. But it appears they have little to fear. Next House Speaker and fundraising diva Nancy Pelosi has assured us that the new Democratic majority will not impeach Bush.

This is as unacceptable as it is predictable. The case for impeachment is a no-brainer. This administration has broken the law so egregiously and so often the list of charges could fill a book. You know at least some of the list by now—lying about Iraq, torture, domestic wiretapping, war profiteering, paid journalist plants, producing fake news, ignoring laws passed to rein him in, collusion with corporations, negligent homicide in the Katrina disaster, et cetera, et cetera. The Bush team makes Watergate look like a panty raid. Despite their fetish for secrecy, there is ample evidence of at least some of these crimes, and investigations would yield more.


Bush needs to be impeached because Bush worshippers just plain deserve it. It was they that were giddy with self-righteous rage, so desperate to take Clinton down that they didn’t care how pathetic their excuse was. They need to be paid back, and to know they asked for it. They need to be demoralized and dismissed before they take the government back and damage it further. They need, after all, to know their reign was a colossal failure, a blight on the record. They need to know that now and forever, George W. Bush will be to presidents what OJ Simpson is to all-star running backs. These people understand things in terms of winning and losing, and they need to know that, in the end, they lost.

Bush needs to be impeached because the only language these people understand is power. Their hearts will not be touched by forgiveness. Any mercy is a sign of weakness to them. If you want to earn a thug’s respect, you’ve got to kick his ass up and down the block. No negotiation. No compromise. Slash and burn. Teach these assholes a lesson. Leave them broken and gasping in a puddle of their own urine. Don’t ever let them forget the humiliation and the shame of it.

But beyond revenge and humiliation—the reasons that Republicans will actually understand—Bush needs to be impeached because he is a criminal of the highest order, and because tolerating criminals at the seat of power is itself a crime against the nation. The core problem in Washington today is not the president’s lack of respect for the law; it’s that congress has done nothing about it. The first step toward restoring a reasonable government is correcting that.


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